The Foundations of Community

I am sure we all recognize Saint Valentine as the patron saint of love… he’s also credited for care of beekeepers, those with epilepsy, and travelers. That’s quite the combination, but maybe the unifying thread is that of restoration, wellness, and community?  [I realize the bee thing is a bit of a stretch there, but go with me… bees live in a community and their honey is thought to be healing for some…]. 

Either way, February makes me think about relationships, community, and connections… why do we stay in certain relationships?  What pulls us into a community?  

It’s tempting to say that there is something “un-nameable” about a strong community. I would challenge that notion.  Of course, the ingredients that make a strong community are multi-faceted. But, often it comes down to the values of a given community and the consistency with which you see those values lived out. Clarity and consistency in the values of a community  increase trust. 

People are complex and complicated. Systems involving more than one person get tricky! Clear footholds, through well articulated values, become anchor points that create strong foundations for communities. At The Howard School, we know there are things that, at times, make the journey of life more complicated. 

• Young people are growing, developing, changing, testing out limits, exploring friend group options, finding their own way of being in the world.
• People with learning differences are more likely to experience anxiety and depression, so mental health challenges can show up differently at a school like ours.
• With 300 different families on our campus, the reality is that your child is likely sitting in class next to a child whose family has different values than your family; there are conversations happening that you aren’t privy to and/or may not have been ready for your child to have yet! [Kids can say the darndest things!]
• Children today have almost unrestricted access to all kinds of information, data, and entertainment that you, as a parent, may or may not have wanted your child to access.
• Evermore, we live in a world where civil discourse has been discarded and folks seem to show up angry and ready to have conflict.

When we, at Howard, say we honor our humanity, we mean that we do not judge one another by the messiness that comes with being human. We allow grace and space for mistakes, and we work to come back together to restore and heal misunderstandings and missteps. Our humanity means we are imperfect! When we say we seek a spirit of partnership, we mean that being IN community together is better than being isolated and alone. Life has enough hard edges to it; we can work in partnership, even when we disagree or find misalignments, and we can be stronger as a result. When we say we practice kindness and respect, we mean that holding respect for one another as individual people with different interests and paths matters.  Choosing kindness is always possible. Finally, we don’t just accept differences at Howard, but true to Marian Howard’s vision, we celebrate our differences. Every unique mind on this campus has much to offer the world around it! We do not simply tolerate minds that see and work differently, we celebrate and uplift those differences because they help create the beautiful tapestry that is our school. 

A lot of different types of conversations take place in my office over the course of a given week. So far this semester, I’ve sat with parents in tears because their child is in a place of distress; I’ve hugged parents as they receive the news of tremendous academic success and progress at Winter Conversations. I’ve listened to our boys’ basketball team share with great pride the story of their hard fought championship win at the tournament in Tennessee. I’ve high-fived swimmers who won (yet another) trophy. I’ve comforted students who had a disagreement with friends and were managing hurt feelings. I’ve talked to city leaders about our NeuroArts initiative and the exciting things in store for our students. I’ve reached out to employees dealing with medical emergencies and family loss. This is simply what being in a community looks like. It’s beautiful and messy and joyful and complex, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

In this season of St. Valentine’s, I urge us all to celebrate community, pause for restoration, and seek wellness.

Dr. Anna B. Moore, Head of School